What To Avoid When Texting A Man: The Do's And Dont's
Texting is one of the most popular ways to communicate, especially in the early stages of a relationship. But it’s also a double-edged sword. Texting can be tricky—words without tone or context can easily be misunderstood, and it's easy to fall into common pitfalls that could push someone away instead of drawing them closer.
In this blog, we’ll explore the dos and don’ts of texting a man, examples of what to avoid, and tips to keep the conversation engaging and enjoyable for both of you.
The Dos of Texting:
1. Send Positive and Uplifting Messages
Sending positive and uplifting messages helps establish a healthy connection and shows that you're paying attention to his qualities. It’s not just about giving compliments, but also about creating an overall positive vibe in your conversations. Encouraging words can go a long way in boosting his mood and reinforcing your connection. It’s important to strike the right balance between being genuine and not overdoing it. Thoughtful, well-placed comments will let him know you appreciate him without coming across as over-the-top.
2. Show Genuine Interest
Showing genuine interest in his life, thoughts, and experiences is crucial in building a meaningful bond. Rather than sticking to surface-level conversations, make an effort to dive deeper. When he sees that you’re curious about who he is, it can foster a sense of connection and intimacy. Being attentive and engaging also helps keep the conversation dynamic and prevents it from becoming dull or monotonous. This kind of curiosity is key to understanding him on a deeper level, but remember not to interrogate—just let things flow naturally.
3. Keep the Flirtation Alive
Flirting is an essential part of keeping a relationship or budding romance exciting and fresh. A playful and lighthearted approach allows you to maintain a spark while keeping the conversation fun. The key is not to overthink it—flirting should feel natural and engaging. It creates intrigue and builds a sense of connection, without being too forward or revealing too much too soon. Finding the balance between teasing and maintaining interest is key, and it’s something that evolves as you get to know each other better.
4. Be Supportive and Encouraging
Supportive and encouraging messages go beyond playful banter and are a way to show you care about his well-being. Whether he's facing a challenge or simply going through a tough day, offering support and understanding helps build trust and emotional connection. It's about being there when it counts and showing that you’re someone he can rely on. However, it’s important not to overwhelm him with advice or solutions—sometimes, just being a sounding board is enough. A little encouragement can make a big difference.
5. Be Playful with Emojis and GIFs
Using emojis and GIFs in your texts can add personality and fun to the conversation. They help convey tone and emotion, making it easier to communicate without sounding too serious or flat. When used sparingly and in the right context, they can enhance the interaction and keep things lighthearted. However, moderation is key—overusing them can make the conversation feel cluttered or immature. Emojis and GIFs can lighten the mood or add humor, but the key is knowing when and how to use them to match the tone of the conversation.
The Don'ts of Texting:
1. Too Many “What Are You Doing?” (WYD) Texts
While it’s natural to want to know what he’s up to, sending too many “WYD?” texts can make you seem like you're lacking in creativity or not putting in enough effort to keep the conversation flowing. Over-reliance on this type of message may suggest that you’re more focused on keeping tabs on him than on sparking meaningful dialogue. It’s important to avoid falling into this habit, as it can make conversations feel one-sided or repetitive, eventually leading to disengagement on his part.
2. Passive-Aggressive Messages
Passive-aggressive texts are one of the quickest ways to derail communication. If you're upset but not ready to address the issue directly, it can be tempting to drop subtle hints or sarcastic remarks, hoping he'll pick up on your mood. However, this often leads to confusion, frustration, or even misunderstanding. Men generally prefer straightforward communication, so passive-aggression can come across as immature or manipulative. Avoid this by focusing on open, honest discussions when something is bothering you, rather than hoping he’ll read between the lines.
3. Overly Long Paragraphs
Texting is meant to be conversational and bite-sized, so sending long paragraphs filled with details or emotions can be overwhelming. Large blocks of text may feel like a lot to process, especially if you’re discussing something serious or emotional. Men often respond better to shorter, more digestible messages that allow the conversation to unfold naturally. When you overload a single text, it can seem intense or demanding, and may cause him to disengage rather than respond thoughtfully. It’s better to keep things brief and save longer discussions for in-person talks.
4. Playing Mind Games or Being Cryptic
Trying to be mysterious or playing games by sending vague or cryptic texts can backfire, especially if the goal is to test his reactions. While it might seem like a way to maintain intrigue or keep him guessing, it often leads to frustration instead of curiosity. Most men appreciate straightforwardness and clarity in communication, and if they feel like they’re being toyed with or forced to decipher your messages, it can cause unnecessary tension. Keep things transparent to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.
5. Clingy or Needy Texts
Coming across as too clingy or needy in your messages can create pressure, making him feel like you’re overly dependent on his attention or validation. Texting constantly, asking for reassurance, or worrying about every delayed response can send the message that you’re insecure or need him to constantly affirm your importance in his life. Men generally appreciate independence and confidence in a partner, so giving him space to respond and showing you’re content without constant communication can strengthen the dynamic rather than weakening it.
Keeping the Conversation Going
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Open-ended questions are a great way to move beyond small talk and engage in deeper, more meaningful conversations. By asking questions that encourage longer responses, you allow him to share more about himself, which can lead to a more dynamic and interesting exchange. These kinds of questions give him the chance to express his thoughts, experiences, or feelings in more detail, which not only keeps the conversation going but also helps build a stronger connection. The key is to stay curious without making it feel forced or like an interrogation.
Match His Texting Pace
Matching his texting style can help maintain a natural rhythm in your conversations. If he tends to text less frequently or keeps his messages short, overwhelming him with frequent or long responses can feel like you're pushing too hard. Mirroring his pace shows that you’re in sync with his communication style and respect his personal rhythm. Striking this balance is important for avoiding feelings of pressure or overwhelm, while still staying engaged in the conversation.
Share a Mix of Personal Stories and Questions
To keep the conversation from feeling one-sided, it’s important to balance asking questions with sharing your own experiences. This makes the exchange feel more natural and creates a back-and-forth dynamic. When you open up about yourself, it invites him to do the same, which fosters a sense of connection and builds rapport. Sharing personal stories also gives him more to work with in terms of topics, rather than keeping the focus entirely on him. It helps keep the interaction light and mutual.
Don’t Be Afraid of Silence
Silence in a conversation, especially over text, can sometimes feel awkward, but it’s important to remember that pauses are a natural part of communication. You don’t need to fill every moment with chatter. In fact, some quiet moments allow for reflection and can help keep the interaction from feeling forced or pressured. A healthy relationship will naturally have moments of pause, and it’s perfectly fine to let the conversation breathe. When something interesting comes up, the flow will naturally pick back up again.
Use Humor to Break the Ice
Humor is one of the easiest and most effective ways to keep a conversation light and engaging. Sharing funny stories, jokes, or even memes can diffuse tension and create a playful tone that makes both of you feel more comfortable. Humor helps to keep things positive and can make your conversations more memorable. It’s also a great way to let your personality shine through, keeping the mood lighthearted without putting pressure on serious topics. Just be mindful of his humor style to ensure your jokes land well.